Real World: Weiss and Schwarz
by deadfornow
Summary: Eight complete strangers who know each other picked to live in some house so they can be stalked by camera men named Jim! Chapter 3 up.
1. It begins!

I just felt like doing this. ^^;;; Because I'm weird like that.   
  
DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill.   
  
[ ] = Private Monologue  
  
---  
  
Weiss and Schwarz arrive at somewhere in Tokyo...for The Real World!   
  
Quick Overview of the Cast:  
  
Aya: Sister-obsessed (Aya: -_- SHI-NE!)  
Brad: Guy with glasses (Brad: Well. Gee. =_= I feel so loved.)  
Farfarello: Serial killer (Farf: It hurts god. *cackle*)  
Omi: Computer geek (Omi: Heeeyy!! ;_;)  
Nagi: Scary little d00d who floats things (Nagi: *NOT amused*)  
Yohji: Pimp (Yohji: *strikes a pose*)  
Schudich: German pimp (Schu: *GRIN*)  
Ken: Klutz (Ken: I'll show YOU klutz, you stupi-*trips*)  
  
  
NOTE: The private monologue is for the people to tell their thoughts or rant or whatever on   
the incident or whatever happened.  
  
  
+  
  
The words 'The True Story' float across the screen, with cheesy background music and whatnot. And bubbles. Don't forget them bubbles. *_*  
  
Aya: -_- *thoroughly prodded before he says his line* This is the true story..  
  
Brad: ..of eight strangers.   
  
Schu: Don't we all know each other? *gets whapped* *twitch* Picked to live in a house.   
  
Ken: To find out what happens...  
  
Omi: When people stop being polite.. *holding hands with Nagi* ^.^  
  
Nagi: And start getting real. *grins at Omi*  
  
Yohji: *at the same time with Farf* The Real World.   
  
Farf: *at the same time with Yohji* GOD HURTS!   
  
+  
  
Omi: *whines* I need to use the bathroom! *knocks on the bathroom door* Come ON, Schuldich!!  
  
Schu: Go away!  
  
[ Omi: I needed to use the bathroom and Schu was being a..a...bathroom hog! ]  
  
[ Schu: I RULE THE BATHROOM! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! ]  
  
Omi: -_- *walks away, grumbling*   
  
[ Omi: T__T Schu's a meanie. And Yohji was using the other bathroom. ;_; ]  
  
+  
  
Brad: *playing Scrabble with Nagi and Farf* Pocky doesn't count as a word!  
  
Nagi: ;.; It does so! Pocky is great! We must all worship Pocky!  
  
Farf: *eye twitches* Pocky is...like....god? *eye glaze over*  
  
Nagi: Ack! No! Pocky hates god! God hates Pocky!   
  
Brad: *spells an extremely long word which neither Nagi nor Farf can read*   
  
Farf: *stares at the word*  
  
Nagi: o_o...  
  
Farf: *stares*  
  
Nagi: *stares at the word, also*  
  
Farf: *picks up the Scrabble board and throws it into the fireplace* THAT WORD WORSHIPS GOD!!!  
  
Brad: -______-*  
  
[ Brad: I FORESAW THIS!!! ]  
  
+  
  
Aya: *stabbing a Takatori picture, very badly drawn* SHI-NE!! SHI-NE!!! SHI-NE, TAKATORI!!!   
  
[ Aya: ...*just glares at the camera man* ]   
  
Takatori Picture: x_x  
  
Yohji: *was standing in the doorway, backs away and leaves Aya alone so he can do his...hobbies*   
  
[ Yohji: Aya's screwed up, man. He needs to get laid. ]  
  
+  
  
Ken: *kicking a soccer ball around inside Aya's room, making the ball bounce off the wall and back to him* *he   
obviously finds this very amusing* *kick* *bounce* *kick* *bounce* :D COOL! *kick* *bounce* *KICK*  
  
Soccer Ball: *high-pitched voice* I'M FREEEE!!!! *breaks Aya's window and flies outside, hitting a car and the alarm sounds*  
  
Ken: ...I didn't do it.  
  
[ Ken: I guess it was my fault...but no one needs to know. ]  
  
+   
  
Nagi: Schu!! Why is your crap all around the bathroom?! Tell me WHY you need eye shadow.  
  
Schu: It's not crap. It's special!  
  
[ Nagi: It was crap. ]   
  
Nagi: Pick up your crap!!  
  
Schu: Pick up YOUR crap!  
  
Nagi: I didn't drop any crap! .xO!!! Asshole!   
  
Nagi: x_x  
  
[ Schu: Teach HIM to insult my stuff. ]   
  
+  
  
Schu: *rummaging through Brad's drawers with Yohji by his side*   
  
Yohji: Do you see anything?  
  
Schu: YES! *holds up boxers with little boxers on them* Lo and behold! Brad wears boxers!   
  
Yohji: ...why does his boxers have boxers on them? o.0  
  
Schu: o_o  
  
Yohji: o.o  
  
Schu: o_o;;;  
  
Yohji: Uhm..o_O;  
  
Brad: =___= WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? *came here before they could rummage anymore, as he has  
THE SIXTH SEVENTH EIGHT NINTH TENTH ELEVENTH SENSE x_X*  
  
Schu: RUN!!!! *takes three more boxers and runs like hell*  
  
Yohji: WE HAVE HIS BOXERS, WE HAVE THEMMM!!!! *stalls Brad with a pillow to the face and runs*   
  
Brad: ...I hate my life.   
  
[ Brad: I hate you all. ]   
  
+  
  
Aya: *staring at the window, unblinking*  
  
Ken: o_o Uhm...Aya?  
  
Aya: *turns to Ken, eyes bloodshot* Yes?  
  
Ken: o_o;;;; Are you okay?  
  
Aya: *eyes narrow suspiciously* Why?  
  
Ken: You're eyes...are...scary....and...bloodshot..  
  
Aya: =_= Are you insulting my eyes?  
  
Ken: *scared* No...just...asking.  
  
Aya: =_= I couldn't sleep last night. Someone broke my window. It was cold. =_= Very cold. Blankets thin.  
*looms over Ken*  
  
Ken: ;-; Don't eat me.  
  
Aya: Take..me..to..your..leader..then. *falls over, knocking Ken to the ground and laying on him* *asleep*   
  
Ken: ...someone help?   
  
[ Ken: T_T Why does all the bad stuff happen to me? ]   
  
+  
  
Farf: *throwing paper balls at Nagi, who's sending them back to Farf, hitting him in the head*...*throw*  
  
Nagi: -_o *sends it back, hitting Farf in the face*  
  
Farf: ..._o *throws*  
  
Nagi: *sends it back, hitting him in the face again*  
  
Farf: *throw*  
  
Nagi: *sends back*  
  
Farf: *throw*  
  
Nagi: AHHHH!!! *runs away screaming*  
  
Farf: :D This hurts god.  
  
Brad: *chasing Schu and Yohji for his boxers back* KISAAMMAAA!!! GIVE THEM BACK!!!  
  
Yohji: NEVER!!! *waves them*  
  
Schu: OVER MY DEAD BODY! BWAHAHAH!  
  
Brad: *twitch* *gets out his gun* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! *shoots at them* *shooting water* *TWITCH*   
  
[ Brad: WHOEVER DID THIS WILL DIE A VERY HORRIBLE DEATH, DAMMIT! ]   
  
Schu: *points and laughs at* *wearing Brad's boxers on his head* ^.^  
  
Yohji: *has a pair on his head too*   
  
Brad: =_= Sweet mother of-  
  
Farf: NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo! NOOOOOO!! NOT GOD!!! .@ *pounces on Brad and proceeds to shake him furiously*  
  
+  
  
Aya: ~.~ *sleeping on Ken, still* *moves around in his sleep* *mumble* Takatori..you bastard...how could you ruin my tea party...  
  
Ken: X_X someone..help...me....  
  
Yohji: *runs past* O_O ) WAY TO GO, AYA! *runs off being chased by a very furious Brad who's being chased by Farfie*  
  
Ken: *tries to get Aya off him* T_T  
  
Aya: *clinging onto his clothes*   
  
Ken: ...LOOK! IT'S TAKATORI!!  
  
Aya: O___O WHAAAAAAAAA??!?! *jumps up* TAKATORI, SHI-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ....there is no Takatori.   
  
[ Aya: TAKATORI SHIIIIIIIIII-NE!!!!!! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDEIDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!! *shreds up his seat*   
  
Camera person: ;_; Please...don't...do that. ]  
  
Ken: *scrambles out the door*   
  
Aya: _O DAMN YOU, TAKATORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!  
  
+  
  
Takatori: *elsewhere* *sneezes about 5 times* ....  
  
+  
  
..don't...ask..me..x_x;;.....this is what I get for sniffing chapstick. Btw, I have no idea if I am to be continuing this. It's pretty stupid. o_o 


	2. And so it continues

LOOKIE! I decided to continue it since I have lack of inspiration to do anything else. x_@ Sorry for the short chapter.  
I'll get more up later, I sware it.   
  
+  
  
Farf: *talking to Aya* And THEN I stabbed him with the spork and-  
  
Aya: Was this before or after you beat him with a spoon?  
  
Farf: ...it hurts god?  
  
Aya: Oh. Okay then. So I'm supposed to stab Takatori with a spork.  
  
Farf: It hurts god a whole lot.   
  
Aya: Takatori will hurt. He'll hurt a whole fricking lot. I'll stab him in the stomach with the spork  
and twist it around and then he'll scream and I'll bash his head in with a vacuum cleaner and then I'll leave his half-alive body out  
for the pidgeons to pick at. And then I'll dump him into the river with rocks tied to his legs and arms. And then I'll watch him  
try to swim. But I probably wouldn't have to put rocks on him. He's fat. Or even better, I'll cook him. I'm stuff him in and cook  
his fat, greasy ass. Or I'll just toss him in a fire and wait until he turns into a crisp. *sobs* Oh, Aya-chan... (A.N: ..x_X)  
  
Farf: You see, that REALLY hurts god.   
  
Ken: *sits traumatized*   
  
Schu: You know, people are trying to eat right now?  
  
Yohji: What the hell was that?   
  
Omi: I'm just going to pretend you didn't say any of that. I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy....@__@  
  
Nagi: You're a freak, Aya.  
  
Brad: *pushes his glasses up his nose* I always knew he was. I foresaw it.  
  
Aya: *stares at Brad blankly* You foresaw I was a freak? Idiot.  
  
Brad: Shut up.  
  
Farf: Freaks hurt god.  
  
Schu: *sings* Breathe with meeeeee....  
  
Ken: Brad's easy? x.X I really didn't need to know that.  
  
Aya: Of course Brad's easy. Of course he's a manwhore. What do you expect from SCHWARZ?  
  
Yohji: *leers at Brad*  
  
Nagi: ....*chooses wisely not to comment*   
  
Omi: WHAT?! NO! MY POOR POOR FRAGILE INNOCENT VIRGINAL MIND!   
  
Brad: X_X WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT?!?!  
  
Farf: *snickers*  
  
Schu: Actually, I was singing 'breath with me', but Brad's easy works.   
  
Brad: ...-_-...I am not easy.  
  
Farf: Really? Because last ti-  
  
Brad: *covers Farf's mouth with his hand* ...shut up...  
  
Schu: O_O  
  
Yohji: O_O  
  
Omi: X___O  
  
Nagi: o___o  
  
Aya: ...o_o...  
  
Ken: _@  
  
Schu: Dammit, Brad! You've screwed Farfie and you won't even let me near your bed!  
  
Brad: You're toxic.   
  
Schu: And you're telling me HE isn't?!  
  
Brad: ...no comment.  
  
Aya: *looks at Farf and imagines him and Brad...together* ...*drops to the floor, holding his head and screaming*   
  
Ken: O_O;;;;;;;;;; Aya...? AYA!!!   
  
Brad: I knew that was going to happen.   
  
+   
  
_AYA'S DREAM_  
  
Aya-chan: *in coma*  
  
Omi: *walks up* ...Aya-chan...I..*looks down and blushes*....love...you...*throws self onto Aya-chan*   
  
Aya: *comatose*   
  
Ken: *walks in* ...O__O.......  
  
Aya: This isn't what it looks like.  
  
Ken: OMIIII!!! HOW COULD YOU STEAL HER FROM ME?! I...I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!  
  
Omi: It's not FAIR if you keep her all to yourself!!! She's mine!!!  
  
Yohji: *leaning by doorway* That's where you're wrong because....she's MINE!  
  
Ken: *sputters* What?!  
  
Omi: No way!  
  
Yohji: Oh, yes way. She's mine. *shoves Omi off Aya-chan and grabs her*  
  
Ken: I SAW HER FIRST!!!   
  
Omi: LIAR!! I SAW HER FIRST!! I've loved her since I laid eyes on her!  
  
Yohji: You're both liars. *I* saw her first. Therefore, she's mine.   
  
Ken, Omi, Yohji: *proceed to argue over Aya-chan*   
  
Aya: *somehow turns into a man-version of herself and is out of her coma* *sites up* Don't worry, my darlings. There is enough of me....for ALL of you.  
  
Ken, Omi, Yohji: *___*   
  
+  
  
Aya: *wakes up* **SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM* $U#@)$&@#$^#)@^#)#^%)@^#@ %$%$ WAS THAT?!?!?!  
  
*elsewhere*  
  
Schu: *snicker*  
  
+   
  
No comment. I was running out of ideas. Need pixie sticks. 


	3. More insanity

Er.  
Okay.  
This chapter is going to be a take on all the couples. Such as Aya/Ken, Brad/Schu, all that good stuff.  
  
It's not as boring as it sounds, just...take a look.   
  
The next chapter will have more of the actual Real World stuff.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Hi.   
  
(Update: DAMMIT! HOW THE @#@)*$&$(*# COULD I FORGET SCHU/FARF?! GODDAMMIT! *rampages and knocks herself out* X_X)  
  
-----  
  
+Crawford and Aya+  
  
Aya: Shi-ne, Schwarz scum.  
Crawford: Weiss bastard.  
Aya and Brad: *look at each other*   
Aya: ...  
Brad: ...*jumps Aya and proceeds to screw him silly*   
  
-----  
  
+Aya and Ken+   
  
Ken: I love you, Aya.   
Aya: I don't love you.  
Ken: *ANGSTANGSTANGST*  
Aya: Ken, I found out that...I love you.  
Ken: ...okay.   
Aya: *pounces Ken and proceeds to screw him silly*  
  
-----  
  
+Farfarello and Ken+  
  
Farfarello: ....  
Ken: ....*backs away*  
Farfarello: ...*pounces and proceeds to rape*   
  
*after said rape*  
  
Ken: ;___; *ANGSTANGSTANGST*  
  
-----  
  
+Yohji and Schuldich+  
  
Yohji: Hi.  
Schuldich: Hi.  
Yohji: ...  
Schuldich: ...  
Yohji: ...*pounces and both proceed to screw*   
  
-----  
  
+Schuldich and Brad+  
  
Schuldich: I'm not a slut.  
Brad: Hn.  
Schuldich: Pay attention to me.  
Brad: Hn.  
Schuldich: I'm not wearing any underwear.   
Brad: ....*pounce*  
  
-----  
  
+Yohji and Aya+  
  
Aya: Yohji, you're retarded and you smoke too much. Stay away from me.  
Yohji: But...my...fiery-haired love...  
Aya: ...what?  
Yohji: I said, shut up.   
Aya: ...  
Yohji: ...*pounce*  
  
-----  
  
+Nagi and Omi+ (The Romeo and Juliet shiznit, yo.)  
  
Nagi: My teammates hate your teammates but I love you.  
Omi: Ditto. I love you too. Let's screw like rabbits over there in that bush. Who cares if this is a playground.  
Nagi: *pounce*   
Rest of Schwarz and Weiss: *GASP!*  
Nagi: *in the middle of..uh...you get the point* It's not what it looks like.  
  
-----  
  
+Brad and Nagi+  
  
Brad: *stares at Nagi's ass*  
Nagi: Brad? Stop undressing me with your eyes.   
Brad: *pounces and screws* ...I'm not a pedophile.  
  
-----  
  
+Farfarello and Omi+  
  
Farfarello: *RAPE*   
  
'nuff said.  
  
-----  
  
+Ken and Omi+  
  
Omi: How strong and manlier you are!   
Ken: Yes!   
Omi: Okay, just screw me already.   
Ken: Yes, ma'am.   
  
-----  
  
+Aya and Nagi+  
  
Nagi: ...  
Aya: ...  
Nagi: ...  
Aya: ...  
  
-----  
  
+Yohji and Nagi+  
  
Yohji: ...well, atleast you're pretty.  
Nagi: Help me.  
  
-----  
  
+Brad and Ken+  
  
Brad: *kidnaps Ken*   
Ken: Please don't eat me.   
Brad: I think I love you.  
Ken: But I love Aya.   
Brad: No, you don't.  
Ken: o_o Yes, I do.  
Brad: Don't.  
Ken: Do.  
Brad: Don't.  
Ken: Do.  
Brad: You hurt me.   
Ken: Sorry.  
  
-----  
  
+Schu and Aya+  
  
Schu: *RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE* OH PRETTY AYA HEEHEEHEE *RAPE*  
Aya: X_______________________X *ANGSTANGSTANGST*  
  
...'nuff said. o_____o;;;;;;;;; *disturbed by herself*  
  
-----  
  
+Yohji and Omi+  
  
Yohji: BOOHOOHOOO OH ASUKA  
Omi: Yohji? I love you.  
Yohji: ASSSUUKKKKAAAAAAAAA  
Omi: ...Yohji-kun?   
Yohji: ASSSUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Omi: -_- *smacks Yohji*  
Yohji; ...*pounces Omi*  
Omi: *_*  
  
-----  
  
+Schu and Ken+  
  
Schu: Hi.   
Ken: o_o  
Schu: ) *MOLESTRAPE*  
Ken: NO! ;____; HELP ME, AYA/BRAD/YOHJI/FARFARELLO/OMI/NAGI! - take your pick  
  
-----  
  
+Aya and Omi+  
  
Omi: ...  
Aya: ...  
Omi: ...so...  
Aya: ...  
Omi: ...how's...Aya-chan?  
Aya: *bursts into sobs*  
Omi: I'll comfort you, Aya-kun!   
Aya: ...*pounces*   
  
-----  
  
+Schu and Nagi+  
  
Schu: *smirk*  
Nagi: *glare*  
Schu: *SMIRK*  
Nagi: Let's just have sex now. On Brad's desk.  
Schu: Kinky.  
  
-----  
  
+Brad and Farf+  
  
Brad: ...  
Farf: *cuts things*  
Brad: ...*grabs Farf and screws him*  
Farf: This hurts god.  
  
'NUFF SAID.   
  
-----  
  
+Nagi and Tot+  
  
Nagi: I like you, Tot.  
Tot: Nagi kawaii.  
Nagi: I mean..I..really like you.  
Tot: ...Nagi...kawaii!  
Nagi: ...-_-...I should've never fallen for a retarded girl...  
  
-----  
  
+Farfarello and Nagi+  
  
Farfarello: Hi.  
Nagi: ...hi...  
Farfarello: ...wanna screw?  
Nagi: Sure. Insane Irishmen make me hot.  
  
-----  
  
+Farfarello and Aya+  
  
Farfarello: Your hair hurts god.  
Aya: Get away from me, you Schwarz...thing.  
Farfarello: *TACKLEMAIM*  
Aya: x_x  
  
-----  
  
+Ken and Nagi+  
  
Ken: *trips and bumps into Nagi*  
Nagi: Fancy seeing you here.  
Ken: Ow. I sprained my ankle.  
Nagi: Good. Now I can take advantage of this and proceed to screw you.  
Ken: ...but...but...I'M THE SEME IN THIS COUPLING!!!  
Nagi: Nope.   
Ken: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
-----  
  
+Schuldich and Omi+  
  
Schuldich: I KNOW ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH NAGI.   
Omi: OH NO! OH NO!  
Schuldich: YES! YESSS! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!  
Omi: ;____________;  
Schuldich: Now you have to be my...SLAVE. So I won't tell. You know.  
Omi: Oh, okay. *^_^*   
  
-----  
  
+Farfarello and Omi+  
  
Omi: You're going to molest me, aren't you.  
Farfarello: ...no?  
Omi: *^_^* Yay!  
Farfarello: *molests anyways* Lying hurts god.  
  
-----  
  
+Yohji and Farfarello+  
  
Farfarello: I hurt god.  
Yohji: Really? I smoke.  
Farfarello: That hurts god.   
Yohji: Let's skip past the meaningless chat and just let me screw you, mmkay?  
Farfarello: O_X  
  
-----  
  
AND FINALLY...  
  
+Brad and Omi+  
  
Brad: I'm not a pedophile.  
Omi: Get your hand off my ass, then!!!  
Brad: No.  
Omi: -_-  
  
-----  
  
*UPDATE*  
  
+Schu and Farfarello+  
  
Schu: I'm sexy.  
Farfarello: I like sharp things!  
Schu: I am sooo sexy.  
Farfarello: I like sharp things!  
Schu: I'm so sexy.   
Farfarello: ^_X I like sharp things!  
Schu: *grabs Farfarello and screws him silly*  
  
-----  
  
*UPDATE*  
  
+Huge Fucking Orgy+  
  
A few words: ROCK THE CASBUUUUHHHH  
  
---------  
  
Teh end. If I missed anything, tell me. (I'd BETTER have not this time.) 


End file.
